Hi~ Assalamualaikum | Beralih angin kepada Herv. 

Hujung minggu ni, pulang dari window shopping drugstore makes me want to write something about skincare. 

Actually, I'm not the expert one, yet I'm still searching some skincare that suitable for my skin. As people do read my oldest post, I have some skin problem either it's eczema or roscea, yet I still not make an appointment with some skin expert. Mahal laaa~ Nak pergi hospital tu, kalau bukan sebab bersalin je, malas nak pergi. Haha 

Produk sebelumnya Aien try almost banyak skincare yang mampu milik la kan. Since 13 years old, my dad always asked Aien nak beli skin care apa. Muka masih mulus cuba la safi. Masa Aien teenage dulu, skincare bukan la suatu yang penting dalam hidup. Sampai umur 18 tahun pun me is still tak guna mana² skincare yang proper rutin dan iyanya bukan satu kewajipan.  

Since Aien kerja, baru nak belajar erti cantik-cantik ni. Produk pertama yang Aien try adalah Ah,, takkan ingat laa. 

Aien start consume produk skincare ni sejak muka dah macam zombie,, kena hot shock sejak kerja kilang. Dan tempoh Aien berkerja di situ cuma seminggu je. Selebihnya demam dan terus muka macam apa entah. Mungkin sebelum tu Aien asyik kerja dalam aircond, jadi kulit mudah kering dan tak ada guna apa-apa skincare, and that's make the worst happen. 

Lepas tu la,, mengelabah cari skincare yang boleh cover balik. Mana la tau kena repair skin barrier dulu ke ape. Terus anggap bahawa aku ni sensitive skin rupanya. Tak selidik dulu tang mana sensitive nye apa. 

Actually,, kalau ikut gen family, kami adik beradik susah nak naik jerawat. Kecuali adik no 3 tu, jerawat almost full face. Ntah apa tak kena tak tahu la. Mungkin zaman gila asyik kejar muka nak flawless without kaji produk tu sebenarnya selamat ke tak. 

Pernah la cuba produk kunyit tu,, bagus result dia. haha Itu masa zaman kolej Aien cuba, sebab terpengaruh dengan testimoni dia. 

Okay, back after I resign dari kerja kilang tu,, Aien try la Hada Labo since orang kata dia hydrating and toink toink gitu. Tepengaruh dengan iklan juganya serupa bagus. Tapi tak cek yang mana satu Hada Labo yang bagus. Kah! Asal tulis  for sensitive skin, itu la Aien grab. Sampaikan fikir teori,, kalau kulit kita sebenarnya tak sensitive tapi kita pakai yang sensitif, makin la dia jadi sensitif. It's logic ke? Haha Mana la nak tahu~ 

Hada Labo 
Hada Labo Goku jyun ni kalau tak silap Aien try memula masa skin break out. Skin tengah teruk masa tu, ,terus try pakai Hada Labo ni. Pada mulanya segala skin peeling, yang pedih² tu okay di bulan yang pertama. After awhile Aien guna Goku Jyun ni,, muka jadi berminyak sangat. Dalam bilik yang ada air cond seem like okay la. Worth to try. Tapi, bila berjumpa dengan matahari. Oh my God, muka jadi berminyak yang amat dan Aien sejenis yang tak selesa betul kalau muka rasa berminyak. Terus rasa nak basuh. Jenis yang tak suka nak tepek apa-apa la. Senang cakap.

After that, I was stop using anything produk in properly term. Sebab risau nanti makin teruk. Tak fikir pun, bila langsung tak guna itu lah yang makin teruk. Haha

Masa kerja jadi Sales assistant kat Sendayu Tinggi lagi la malu sebabnya kita ni jenis skincare tak jaga, alih² boss suruh mekap-mekap la pulak. Makin la janggal terserlah di situ. Nasib la tak lama kerja situ. 

Till, I met Good Virtues Co. dan produk dorang macam sesuai dengan kulit Aien.

Good Virtues co. merupakan produk local yang kira best la jugak. Aien cuba ni masa dia belom dikenali ramai lagi. Satu set Aien cuba. Nampak okay. Cuma day cream dan night cream rutin Aien tak buat. Sebab rasa muka berminyak sangat. Hampir 4 tahun Aien guna produk ni. Sampai dibuatkan hantaran masa kahwin dulu. Over all sebenarnya mampu bertahan lama dengan produk ni adalah kerana ianya murah jika dibandingkan dengan produk drugstore yang lain. Poket yang tak berapa nak tebal ni, mampu yang ini saja.

Masa pakai pun, produk ni tak memberi apa-apa kesan pada skin Aien. Dia cuma ada pada syarat saja la. Al-maklum la, Basic skincare pun failed tang sunscreen, apatah la dengan double cleansing bagai. Janji muka tak ada jerawat pun dah cukup baik, fikir diri masa tu.

Bila diri semakin meninggalkan 20-an ni dan ada kawan yang baik hati masukkan Aien ke dalam group skincare di muka buku, Aien diberikan kesedaran dan hidayah tentang pentingnya penjagaan muka ni dan yang penting sekali adalah mengenal pasti produk mana yang betul dan baik untuk skin dan mana yang timbang kilo. Nasib la labu,  mak ni sempat sekali je terjebak produk kilo. Haha

Jalan punya jalan, terbaca satu produk local yang sedang mencanak naik sekarang ni. Macam nak cuba,, mampu milik la kalau jumpa set travel dia.

Herv

Haa, kecintaan Aien sekarang ni. 😍 Lucky me, dapat set yang worth RM250 ni dengan harga RM70. Siap ada free gift lagi. Beli preloved pada orang yang dia guna baru seminggu dan muka dia break out hasil dari penggunaan ni. Sian dia, but sis, Aien doakan moga muka sis pulih sepenuhnya.


Ini la set RM70 tu. Wow, kalau dikirakan sebenarnya set ni,, worth around RM300 tau. Huh, kalau nak beli sendiri mampu tak nak la kan. Tengok sebelah mana je mampu.

Okay, Herv ni terdiri daripada Brightening Oil Cleanser, Essence dan Deep Exfolitor. Oil cleanser tu untuk double cleansing la kan. Essence untuk pulihkan balik kulit wajah kita dan Deep Exfolitor tu untuk buang sel kulit mati yang menghalang daripada kulit kita serap apa jua produk yang kita guna.

Patut la Aien ni sentiasa miss somewhere je. Dead skin is too much. Yang tak best yang Set ni, Dia tak ada pencuci muka. Huwwwaaa~ Paksa Aien beli sendiri la selepas pakai Pencuci muka GVC tak berkesan, lagi nampak macam kering bebeno kulit.

Aien keep reading on that group, mana yang berpegalaman kan cuba Herv ni. Dorang kata bagus pakai satu set dengan pencuci muka dia, lagi kita boleh nampak kesannya.

And one more thing, rupanya if you ada sensitif type skin, you need to avoid foam type cleanser. Wow~ itu lah yang Aien tengah pakai. Masya Allah. So,, me need to stop using that. And pejam mata beli pencuci muka yang cenonet HERV tu dalam RM35.


Aien try Mixberry soothe Hydra Cleanser ni sebab katanya sesuai untuk dry skin type. So, me is now that type kot. Sebab rasa macam tak ada zat je kulit muka ni.

Now, almost 3 weeks Aien cuba Herv ni. Nampak kesan dia bagus. Cuma seakan slow sikit sebab ada sehari tu, Aien lupa nak buat double cleansing sebelom tido dan hari tu pulak Aien campuradukkan guna produk GVC toner dan Sunscreen Biore tu. dannya muka macam.. Okay,, I need to show some new thing such as JERAWAT!!

Oh my god, it's been a long time jerawat tak ziarah muka I. Kusam-kusam pun jerawat tak pernah keluar. but,, haa ada tapinya.  Jerawat tu cuma macam say Hai je. Pahtu dah blah gitu tanpa muncul dengan lebih aggresif. Fuh,,

Ada salah pakai ke hee?

Currently trying those product and routine yang harap memberi kesan la kan. Kalau ikut niat hati teringin bebeno nak cuba Mary Kay. Tapi untuk rakyat marhaen dan poket yang tak berapa nak ada kat baju ni,, mampu tengok je la. Kalau ada sesiapa let go the preloved, I would like to try. After this Herv.

Okay, Let's say this my current routine and product that I'm using.

AM:
Cleanser - HERV Mixberry Soothe Cleanser
Toner - Clinelle Pure Swiss Hydra Lotion
Essence - Herv Luxe Essence Advance
Moisturizer - True Island Venom Multi Solution Cream
Day Cream - Senka White Beauty Glow UV Cream
Sunscreen - Biore UV Milk

PM
Oil Cleanser - Herv Brightening Oil Cleanser
Cleanser - Herv Mixberry Soothe Cleanser
Toner, essence, moisturizer same as AM.

And that's it. My skincare routine.

Bila nak keluar, tambah la CC Cream with Serum by Senka dan A little lipstick by Anastasia, hadiah dari adikku terchenta.

Okay that's all. Kalau nak tahu perubahannya sila la tengok di IG,, sebabnya malas nak upload kat sini.

Till the next product! 

Hi~ assalamualaikum | Rediscovery this day. 10-12 October. 

In the middle of chaos this morning, google phot make me smile a little bit. The photo that remind me how I met my love one for the first time. And actually ada dah entry dia yang Aien simpan kat sini tak lama lepas jumpa dia. Ada ja, nak cari link dia balik malas. Sebab nya Aien sekarang ni always write or typing this entry in the middle of night, temankan anak-anak tidur sementara diri sendiri tak boleh nak pejam. Or actually, curi masa sikit untuk jalan sini. Luckily these two kids dorang dah ada jadual tido yang memudahkan Ibunya melepak di malam hari. Soon,, I will manage others time nak update entry di laptop. 

Ah, bebel apa ni? Sudah-sudah la asyik nak menerawang je. Balik cerita asal. 

How I Met Him? 

Actually a planning journey become unplanning journey because some error. A journey that make others will think, Gila kau?! and that journey make me, always smile alone. Senyum sorang-sorang. Teringat dan terus tersemat. 

Kalau nak baca macamana,, rajin nanti Aien tag link dia,, tak rajin korang cari la past entry yang lepas. tahun 2015 perhaps. Or every year I always mention this date. 

The day I met him, hati terus terdetik, tenangnya tengok dia. Such a calm big brother. Bukan sebab Aien tak ada abang. Dia cuma itu perasaannya datang sekali kok. Ngak ngerti mau bilangin gi mana. 

Malahan,, masa kitaorang dok lepak-lepak selama tiga hari ni, consider a blind date la kan, make me thinking. Why the reason I fall in love with him even though tak pernah jumpa ha? Sambil sembang, teringat. How he make first call to me, when I said, I'm taking SPM as private candidate. Eh,, masa tu aku tengah konon study BM kot. Haha Teringat details pulak. 

The first and last call. Haha Shy shy cat la konon sebab Aien kalau sembang tak suka ikut phone. Ntah kenapa. haha

Bila jumpa terus jatuh tangga buat kali kedua. Soon, he is my fiance , and now he is my husband. 

Tetiba rasa macam ada yang bosan ke hee? Aien ni asyik cerita benda yang sama je. Lingering feeling gitu.. ye dak? 

Hurm. 

Happy birthday awak. >3< 

May Allah bless you with happiness and health, grant your wishes so that kami tiga boleh kongsi rezeki awak. hehe 

Terima kasih jadi suami yang memahami perangai gila bini dia ni,, layan karenah anak-anak bila mood bini dia ni swing gitu, be there when I need you. 

Thanks. 

Dah empat tahun kita kenal secara depan,, 

Sepuluh kenal atas talian,,

Selama tu enam bulan jadi ex fiance,, 

and now dua tahun lapan bulan jadi suami. 

ihik~ kbai. 

I was apperciate you for everything you done for me. Even more I always with my mood tornado. Thanks... 

😘😘 

Selebih nanti esok lusa kita tengok yaa.  

Hi~ Assalamualaikum | Pernah tak terfikir.... Macamana dan bagaimana dan kenapa dan seterusnya.

Sejujurnya,, If someone that read this blog from the beginning, they will know how broken am I. Shush~ go away the lonelines. 

Really,, I need to write thia so that after future of me came back here, she will read, and realise how she improved year by year. *pat yourself, and say good job dear myself* 

Long time ago,, a scattered broken young girl in the middle of knowhere she was abandon by her family yet they told her that she need to learn how to grown up. 

I was sad, mad and so ... lonely at that time. My only sister that I thought she will take care of me, send off far away from me soon I step my foot there. I was thirteen. They seperate us, like we an  adult that no need anyone to take care of. 

Sorry, this entry will be my longing feeling. Write for me, by me, to me so I realise I need to move on from the very dark past of me. The past is the past. 

Everytime I was reminded that story, my tears automatically jatuh. Perasaan tu, terbayangnya sedih daku mendapat tahu yang kakakku telah dibawa pergi. The only one of my family. 

One week, I was like crazy. Dah la tak boleh telefon parents, pahtu... Ko duduk dengan stranger. Nasib ada sorang kakak ni, baik take care aku macam adik dia sendiri. Thanks a lot to her really. 

That the beginning of the curse. Cursed by my own father that I will become like her sister. Lost her mind because their parent forbid her to get married with someone she loved. 

Years passed, my parents called me back home. Help them with some business, but my heart such a rebel teenage. I don't want to. I'm so comfortable being far awat from them, play with my friend, living on my own fantasy, and soon I realise my heart don't belong in here. 

I lose myself. I just want to do everything that I want  but I can't. As second born, I always living behind my sister shadow. That she is genius one, but I am the generous one. :) 

Live with parent that always compared you with others even with your sister make me sick to live. I just living by follow the flow. Macam lalang. Orang nak bawak aku ke mana saja, buat apa saja dengan aku, hati dah tawar. 

Till, my mother persuade my dad to let me take SPM as private candidate. Yes. I don't go to regular school, a.k.a I stop school after primary six. Complicated kan? But, that make me mature from my age. Haha Ko dah tua, sedar² la tu. Esok lusa dah 2020. 

Sejak tu,, aku mula pasang angan nak belajar kolej macam orang lain, kerja bagus macam orang lain yang hakikatnya aku tak pernah terfikir nak kahwin walaupun aku nak ada anak. Hahaha 

*mood dah berubah* 

Since that, my mom push my dad to send three us above to take SPM, and called back my younger sister to back to school. As usual teenager like them. Luckily them. 

Dan aku,, Disuruh belajar menjahit dengan alasan nanti aku boleh bukak kedai jahit sendiri, amek tempahan yet till now aku seram nak pegang gunting. Kah! 

Tapi,, disebabkan aku belajar menjahit cuma la di siang hari. Aku apply part time job as cashier di sebuah shopping Mall. The first one that working between us sisters. Haha Actually, bila difikir balik, aku yang banyak jadi pemula. Haha Kitaorang bekerja pun aku, adik beradik nak kawen dulu pun aku. Haha Not so proud about that. 

My dad was living in kuno mind that think why should a daughter belaja tinggi-tinggi kesudahannya ke dapur juga? Habis tu, ko tu tak ke dapur ke? *smirk face* 

End up now, he was itok kata orang Sarawak tek nak,, lepas belajar kawen, bukan nak kerja dulu ke, kasi dia duit. *face palm* 

OKAY,, STOP IT! 

Yeah, that's our family,, So broken mind even not in reality. 

I not want to burukkan, but the reality where I come from. Sometimes I was regret that, but deep inside he was our father, willing to do anything behind our back to do everything that we doesn't know. Kan? 

Lepas kahwin baru tahu. Actually our parent have such a bad comunication sistem. Us too. Sebenarnya lama dah tau, cuma tak tahu nak mulakan daripada mana. Every person on earth is broken person that living in their own darkness. Bak kata imagine dragon,, Haa, lupa dah lagu dia apa? teringat lagu Shadow by Beast pulak dah! kpop tak habis². 

Lepas aku dah selesa bekerja, tetiba macam berangan nak belajar la pulak. Nak merasa hidup as student seem like easy yet I was aboard my mission after one semester. Masa tu aku apply as part time student. Siang kerja, malam belajar. Tapi sebab aku ni jenis orang tak reti nak kaji dulu, so kena culture shock and lari!!!  Haha Lawak seyh! 

And I was, ah malas la aku nak belajar. Buat senak otak je. Kerja aku sekarang pun dah okay. Masa tu as part time cashier,, sebelum 2010 gaji rasa cukup je sekitar RM1200. Cukup la sebab senangkan hati mak. Bila dapat gaji je bawak dia p shopping. seronok giler masa tu. Pahtu,  bila dipujuk chief untuk jadi Full timer Me like,, Sekejap je boleh bertahan. Like was I can't in this comitmen. Payah! 3 bulan je bertahan. Lepas tu berenti. Dipanggil balik sebab dorang tak cukup cashier, and I was nak jadi part time je. Okay, settled. Boleh, tak ada masalah. Bagus jadi pekerja berhemah selama setahun. Soon, chief rasa dah boleh upgrade jadi full timer, aku jadi bermasalah lagi sampai dorang dah tak nak terima aku. Kah! Itu la kan, bebagus compeni tu nak kau, Kau buat main. Ye laa, muda lagi kan. I was 20-an kot masa tu. Haaa, remaja 90-an tak sama dgn 95-an ke atas. Yang sama, rebel je. *-*

Lepas tu,, lama juga menganggur. Dah biasa hidup ada duit sendiri, jadi tak tentu arah bila tak ada duit. Bila kerja kilang,, Seminggu je kerja, seminggu lagi cuti. Sebab I was heat shock. My skin was breakout till I was shame to go outside. That time, me became an awkward person. Once again. 

Setahun lepas, tu I was offered by my senior a job at Sendayu Tinggi first branch in Miri. Wow,, sudah la gaji masyuk,, ko pun boleh cantek.. But, when you really live behind people shadow, there will always had comparison between you. 

Bila ko dah sedap dengan kerja,, tetiba mak ko suruh ko belajar balik. Dalam dua tiga dua tiga tu,, aku apply tak sangka dapat dan itu la aku menghabiskan masa tiga tahun di KUIM. Dari situ,, aku dapat banyak inspiration but I was statue doing nothing while looking at others doing so well. I was jealous yet I not done anything. I don't have a encourage to move forward from my comfort zone. 

And now, as you know, and I realise I was at some stage that I should be proud what my past make me today. Really Nur? Who my parents was, that build me today, with their parenting, with some life struggle by myself and I still like lalang cause I felt it was easy to follow people step. Not to mention you to think the next move. 

Now, I am a parent. I am a mother. Having two kids with different gender and their personality, I tried not to compare them with my past. With my childhood memories. I really want them to be happy, be who their are, but I was emotionally drown with my past. 

I really want to be a good mom, try to find my rhythm to teach them. Wish me luck. I really do, to become a happy wife to create a happy family. A good mother to create a better child. 

And when I was 'walking' thru media social, I was broken again with comparing myself with others. So jealous that they can do it, while I'm sitting, laying here watching them to be successful. 

I was afraid. Not because that I am comfortable in my comfort zone, but I am afraid if I take that change, I would regret that or I regret that I don't take that chance? Which should I afraid of? 

I need to move on from the past,, stand and chin up, be proud that what achievement that I make till today. Some people may not know what kind struggle you through in. 

Looking at my children, make me question my dream when I was 8 years old. I write in my journal that I want to become a teacher, or perhaps a police. Now, I'm neither of it. I just a simple mother and wife. 

So, I should make it till my last breathe. In this dedicate job, I am a manager, I am an admin, I am a baby sitter, I am a maid and I am everything to my little family. Shouldn't I enjoy this moment without thinking,, what can make me happy from all this? 

I still can watch my favorite drama, I stil can goleng-goleng as I love to, unless with those two tiny me. I still can do anything I want. So, dear myself! chin up beb, enjoy your day. And do what you want to, and don't tell me that you regret every move you have to do cause that not change anything afterward. Regreting the past without doing nothing is not good for you. 

Rise, stand and chin up! Be a good mother and wife as you want to. Be a good listener daughter, wife, and mother so people around you will miss you when you gone. 

Till we meet again, dear myself!